Make me Smile (1)

  • I never make “air quotes” with my fingers when I’m talking, but I do lean to the side & whisper so you sense I’m italicizing.
  • I once had a goldfish that would hump the carpet, but only for about 30 seconds.
  • What kind of sick fuck figured out that you can make a cake out of carrots?
  • At least once in our life, we all have tried to balance the light switch in between the on and off position.
  • I wish I had the self-confidence and assertiveness of the Adobe Acrobat updater.
  • If we have 75 mutual friends on Facebook and we aren’t friends, the likelihood that I fucking hate you is 100%.
  • “I thought I was happy, but then you revved your engine so loudly and I realised YOU are what’s been missing from my life” – No girl, ever.
  • SMS codes for seniors: BTW – Bring the Wheelchair FWIW – Forgot Where I Was LMDO – Laughing My Dentures Out WTFA – Wet the Furniture Again.
  • It was recently discovered that Pluto is not actually a dog.
  • I’ll never have the conviction of a jogger who runs in place while waiting for the red light to turn.

About janbein

Gamer research Biologist who loves art, space and sports.

Posted on August 15, 2011, in Funny, make me smile, Sarcasm and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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