Make me Smile (3)
- The problem with cuddling in bed with your true love is that Smart Phones don’t cuddle back.
- If you still pay for DVDs I have a Typewriter and a VCR I want to sell you.
- If someone asks what you’re doing today, grab a knife & yell “SOMETHING I SHOULD’VE DONE A LONG TIME AGO!” Sounds way cooler than “Napping!”
- If she’s naming your wedding album on facebook “wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!” she’s too young for you bro.
- I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.
- Don’t necessarily nominate me for sainthood, but today I gave a VERY ugly woman directions.
- I hate it when I pee in my pants and people think its just water that splashed on my crotch from washing my hands.
- Modern day camping is an uncharged phone.
- “I have something I’d like to get off my chest.” – Guy with three nipples
- Shot through the heart and you’re to blame. You give archers who shoot apples off of people’s heads a bad name.