Blog Archives
Make me Smile (3)
- The problem with cuddling in bed with your true love is that Smart Phones don’t cuddle back.
- If you still pay for DVDs I have a Typewriter and a VCR I want to sell you.
- If someone asks what you’re doing today, grab a knife & yell “SOMETHING I SHOULD’VE DONE A LONG TIME AGO!” Sounds way cooler than “Napping!”
- If she’s naming your wedding album on facebook “wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!” she’s too young for you bro.
- I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.
- Don’t necessarily nominate me for sainthood, but today I gave a VERY ugly woman directions.
- I hate it when I pee in my pants and people think its just water that splashed on my crotch from washing my hands.
- Modern day camping is an uncharged phone.
- “I have something I’d like to get off my chest.” – Guy with three nipples
- Shot through the heart and you’re to blame. You give archers who shoot apples off of people’s heads a bad name.
#bonJovi
Make me Smile (2)
- Let us all take a moment of silence to remember the many socks lost in the past and the fucking dryers that stole them.
- The only thing worse than a cold toilet seat is a warm one
- Ha! Major typo on page 28 of the new iTunes agreement. Anyone else catch that?
- People who clap at the end of movies also join in singing “Happy Birthday” at a restaurant for a stranger
- You’ll never understand unconditional love until the birth of a child. Or hear the beep of a microwave with your food.
- I just went into a Yahoo chat room to ask someone how to start a fire with sticks.
- “Oh holy shit, what the hell is this!” -people who request songs on the radio discovering the internet for the first time
- I was just told I’m someones BFF. Being the idiot I am, I had to google it. Backup-file Format is a euphemism for something hot right?
- Are you all just gonna keep ignoring how fucked up knees look when a person is standing?
- Sometimes therapy is as simple as nodding to the dude next to you stuck in traffic. I feel you brother.
